Kids & Gender

Lindsay Morris (NYT)

On Sunday,  NYT magazine published a longish article : "What's So Bad About A Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress? on kids who defy traditional "gender boxes" and claim a middle space -- boy and girl, neither boy nor girl -- and the social challenges that come with new identities.  I thought the article was a compassionate picture of families who are trying to understand how to support kids "true selves" in a society that is largely organized as if sex/gender binaries are real, natural, important and self-evident.  The author (Ruth Padawer) did not, however, really push on those structural pieces -- how does our society create and reproduce gender categories and for what purpose? 

I am currently reading Cordelia Fine's examination of neuroscience's claims of innate and natural differences between male and female brains.  Called "Delusions of Gender" she pretty quickly tears apart the idea that there is a strong biological link between sex and gender, and she debunks ideas that gender differences are inherent and all-inclusive.  That is, there are huge differences within categories (women can be as different from each other as from men) and we are never creating entirely non-sexist spaces for kids to grow up in, so we will never be able to fully entangle  nurture-from-nature.   It is a readable book and a fun one to just balance the enormous amount of "Men are from Mars" we consume in regular media.

Anyway, thinking about gender and kids takes us to so many places, from the unique individual experiences that kids have -- an interesting comment from the NYT piece suggested that as we become increasingly individualistic and inhabit more fragmented identities we experience more freedom but less security... curious how that resonates?  -- to questions about what kind of society we want for our children.  Maine is unique in having a law guaranteeing freedom from discrimination based on gender, not just sex, and as schools begin to comply with the law, the ways that we assume a gender binary as real will become more and more visible to us. 

If all this raises your interest -- in how to support your own child, in how to support creating a just and caring community for all kids -- come hear Jennifer Bryan on October 24th!  As part of our Parenting for Peace series, Bryan will address this topic, as it intersects with child development and with other issues relating to gender justice.   More info soon!

And, some resources:

Jennifer Bryan:  From the Dress Up Corner to the Prom: Navigating Gender and Sexual Identity Development (in NAIS magazine) 

John Peterman : When Chris Becomes Courtney : Preparing a Pre-K–8 School Community for a Transgendering Student (NAIS magazine) 

Welcoming Schools :  A resource from the Human Rights Campaign 

Trans Youth Equality Foundation (Maine)

Gender Spectrum (National) - vocabulary, definitions, advocacy

Back to School Festivities, Continued

A lovely FSP tradition is for each class to host some kind of gathering to connect families together toward the start of school... some plans are underway, and while point parents are taking the responsibility of coordinating, ALL PARENTS are hugely encouraged to put forward invitations and ideas... the more fun, the better!

• Preschool has a pool party planned, August 19th 
• Kindergarten has planned a picnic at Underwood Park on August 14th 
• 1/2 is planning an Eastern Prom picnic, Aug 21st
• 3/4 : Park Picnic, tentatively September 15 or 16
• 5/6 :  Picnic @ Elise's House, August 29th
• 7/8 :  A marshmallow roast and potluck supper party@Helen's, August 31st

And remember that the whole school picnic is on AUGUST 30th (3:30 - 6:30) 

Also.... Hildy has agreed to lead a yoga session, to help us ease into the transition from summer to fall... Our first Monday after drop-off, more details to come! 

A cool idea for a class party...

No Impact Upcycling Week!

So much better than back-to-school shopping...
 The No Impact Project Upcycling Competition!
August 12th - August 19th
 
How often is your favorite piece of clothing also a great conversation starter?  If you have seen how many amazing things can be done with an old t-shirt you’ll understand why we think that upcycling is so much more fun than spending your hard earned money on new clothes.
 
Let’s give the earth a break this year and recycle your old clothes and products into awesome new, useful creations!   Starting Monday, August 12th and ending on Sunday, August 19th the No Impact Project will be holding a Back to School Upcycling Competition on our facebook page.
 
Post your favorite upcycling how-to links and pictures of your own ideas! We will select a few of the best ideas to share in our newsletter which goes out to over 30,000 fellow No Impact lovers. 

See the website for project ideas...

From Sunrise Guide

Calling All Budding Locavores!

This Saturday, August 11th, the University of Maine Cooperative Extension will be hosting its 4th Annual Backyard Locavore Day from 10am-4pm to raise money for their future home at Tidewater Farm. Visit thirteen sites in Southern Maine. Enjoy demonstrations, food sampling, and backyard garden tours throughout the day. Topics include vegetable gardening, root cellaring, drying and canning foods, composting, raising chicken for eggs and meat, and more! Tickets $15 for adults, $12 for seniors, children under 12 are free. Learn more.

Parent Forums

On the first Tuesday of the month, starting in November, parents are invited to gather to discuss issues related to FSP, to child development, to our families, etc.  Forums can include invited guests/experts or can be more informal conversations among adults.

Past topics include:

-- Real Life / Real Talk : Sex Ed for Parents (from Planned Parenthood)
-- Inclusion & Exclusion at FSP
-- Music & Art at FSP
-- Simplicity and Commercialism (how to handle birthday parties & winter holidays)
-- Kids & Digital Media / Screens

And many more...

What would you like to chat about? What would get you back to school on a Tuesday night?

Use the comments to share ideas, or email your point parent (see names at right) to share suggestions!

Back to School Festivities

A lovely FSP tradition is for each class to host some kind of gathering to connect families together toward the start of school... some plans are underway, and while point parents are taking the responsibility of coordinating, ALL PARENTS are hugely encouraged to put forward invitations and ideas... the more fun, the better!

Kindergarten has planned a picnic at Underwood Park on August 14th...

1/2 is planning an Eastern Prom picnic

More details, from more classes, to come...

And remember that the whole school picnic is on AUGUST 30th (3:30 - 6:30)

NYT on Good Parenting & Kim's Commentary

I'm so bored with the meme of the "helicopter parent" -- we really all do our best and I think more support for parents in general would help create a more caring society.  But, perfectionist that I am, I can't resist checking myself against the cultural ideals of "good" parenting and pretty much find that I come up short in one way or another.  Sigh.

I'm curious if this short NYT piece by Madeline Levine (author of the Price of Privilege and a new book that's coming out now) resonates with others.  The best line, for me, is : "  ... the child’s job is to grow, yours is to control your anxiety so it doesn’t get in the way of his reasonable moves toward autonomy" I do think FSP should offer Mackworth Yoga for Stressed Our Parents! It does seem that managing our worry is one of the biggest developmental tasks of mid-life... preparation for "growing old ain't for sissies", I think.

Ultimately, I am still a believer in the argument put forward by Susan Douglas and Meredith Michaels in The Mommy Myth  -- The more the standard of good mothering is both vague/changeable and unattainable, the more we'll sink into our own nutty spin-out of strive/fail/worry/achieve/collapse and the less we'll focus on collective action for political change and social justice for all families.

Yet, according to the Casey Foundation,  a quarter of Maine kids live in houses that experience food insecurity, and almost 1/2 of all school-aged kids qualify for subsidized lunch (wonder what that means for food in summer?).  Maine's KidCount book is really worth looking through, motivation to helicopter a little more for kids everywhere - and their mothers, too.

This blog post, titled: the shame of being newly poor (or, why I canceled our plans today)
shared by "BlackGirlInMaine" provides a powerful narrative about what it feels like to be constantly short of money, while raising kids.  It is a story that I know will resonate within our FSP community, yet a story that rarely is put into public words.

And that circles back to the Levine essay.  While the reality for many Maine families is that idyllic childhoods are interrupted by the displacement of adult responsibilities onto kids themselves,  the fantasy of parenting-perfection remains and the quest to help kids make it to safety in what feels like an increasingly unsafe world is powerful - and remains highly individualistic in many ways. 

How can we break our isolation, develop communities that create safety among shared resources, build kids resilience and our own, with less judgement and less fear? 

Parenting for Peace & Jennifer Bryan

The Parenting for Peace committee is in need of new members!  If you have an interest in social issues relating to kids, education, and community and/or have detail-oriented skills, please let us know!

We are thrilled to be bringing Jennifer Bryan to FSP on October 24th to present findings and resources from her book From the Dress Up Corner to the Senior Prom : Navigating Gender and Sexuality Diversity Pre-K to 12 Schools.

I have ordered a copy of the book for the parent library, or check out this essay for the National Association of Independent Schools which summarizes her perspective.  Also, check out this piece, which connects so well with our 2011 'Books as Bridges' program  (and consider buying a title for your home or for FSP - we will have books for sale at the 10/24 program).

I will soon post a series of links and info by way of introduction to this program... please do let us know if you want to help!




SCW©2001. Mollie Biewald, mixed media©1999.

from Syracuse Cultural Workers : http://syracuseculturalworkers.com/

Single Postcard
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Package of 12
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Art of Living

This looks like something that might be of interest to some FSP folks... 

 

The Art of Living Course 

8/10/2012

When:	8/10/2012 18:30
Where:	The Yoga Center 449 Forest Ave Portland, Maine  04103 United States
Contact:	Stephanie Rand (stephrand@yahoo.com)

Details

The Art of Living Course teaches powerful stress management techniques the relieve stress and still the mind. We are teaching The Art of Living Course at The Yoga Center in Portland, Maine on Friday, August 10th from 6:30-9:30pm, Saturday and Sunday, August 11th and 12th from 10am-5pm, and Monday, August 13th from 6:30-9:30pm. We hope you will be able to join us for this event. Please register at www.secure.artofliving.org to reserve your space. Please select the course listed for Gloucester, MA and you will see on the registration page that that is actually the Portland, Maine event. We hope to see you there!

Bates Dance Festival

This weekend is the 30th Anniversary Celebration for the Bates Dance Festival - sure to be a delight! 

And on Aug 11th you can see Kate and Naomi in the Festival Finale -  Bates is an awesome place for a picnic first, and the finale is only $6