Teaching Kids to Respond to Hate Language (kim's getting a little philosophical here)

Peace and Equality are core Quaker values, and for many of us, present core challenges in our families.  We want our kids to be assertive, independent, authentic, and emotionally expressive, but  within the boundaries of what feels safe and appropriate to our unique temperments and family situations. We want our children to be accepting of all kinds of people and cultures and traditions and also to accept our own families standards of behaviors and cultures and traditions as their own.  

In my family, talking about peacemaking is often easier than practicing it. I am so grateful for the peace tables and emerging language of peacemaking that is coming home from school.  For us, peacemaking is often about the daily power struggles that make up living with other people.  But, in our larger world, kids are exposed to all kinds of adult behaviors that encourage or model violence, bullying, and hate.

Currently, the advertising asking Maine people to repeal the law granting marriage equality is an example of adults engaging in persuasive tactics that are based on bullying language.  Bill Nemitz's column today expresses these concerns beautifully. (see the Bangor Daily news editorial questioning the claim that children will be indoctrinated in school, or the memorandum from Maine's Attorney General, Speaker of the House and President of the Senate refuting aspects of the ads, to see some ads, click here.) 

 How do we help our children respond to bias and hate in the larger world? What is the right amount of information to give them and the right amount to ask of them? And, for those of us who occupy a privileged place in the world of marriage, how can we be the best possible allies to all the families in our community and teach our children not to be bystanders when they hear biased attacks or hate language? 

I posted some resources specific to this question on my Parenting for Peace Blog (search for marriage equality) but I think there are deeper questions and answers about how we respond to hate with love, and I'd be so curious to hear others thoughts and strategies.