Resources for talking with kids about friendship problems

Why come hear Michael Thompson (May 2nd @ 7pm USM's Hannaford Hall) talk about Best Friends / Worst Enemies?

Because strong social ties and friendships are linked with health and well-being to the extent that a good friend is as important as broccoli and wearing your seatbelt! (Listen to The Importance of Building Social Connections).  Yet figuring out how to form and maintain healthy relationships while maintaining an independent-self is hard work.  People are different so there is no cookie-cutter approach to friendship (thank goodness) but there are strategies and skills that kids can benefit from learning. 

• Books That Heal recently suggested the film Chrissa Stands Strong as an opening to discussion about how to navigate teasing and bullying (and why not to treat others that way).  She has a lot of other suggestions for using books to open up conversations about relational aggression. 

• On the other hand,  experts at Hardy Girls, Healthy Women also caution against reproducing the idea that girls are "naturally mean" by showing images and books that demonstrate girls being awesome friends.  Similarly, work by Niobe Way and others emphasizes the need for boys to see themselves as kind and connected. Common Sense Media offers a list of "Favorite Movies About Friendship" and there are tons of great friendships in kids books-below are just a few linked lists! 
  • Kid's Books About Friendship That Adults Can Love Too
  • Chinaberry's Books for Children About Love & Friendship
  •  Humane Education - Children's Books about Friendship
  •  Library Booklists -  Family& Friends in Teen Books (also a list on bullying) 
   
• Tbe Greater Good Science Center offers many posts on promoting healthy relationships -- including allowing for some conflict!  
 
• PBS Parents offers some straightforward advice about supporting kids social relationships

Bullying

The Bully Project has been getting a lot of press - There are not options for seeing it in Maine yet but it is opening in Boston in April... Perhaps we'll get to bring it to Portland as a P4P event in the future.  In the mean time, the web site has a lot of info - some heartbreaking stories and a clear call to action (see BDN's story on Maine's new anti-bullying law)

Carey also shared the link to NPR's review :  New Film Takes An Intimate Look At School Bullying

And from Facing History and Ourselves :

Out this month! Facing History Releases Official Guide for BULLY Facing History and Ourselves' official guide to the powerful film, BULLY, was released this week. The facilitator's guide helps students and adults confront the stories in this film and explore the meaning for their schools and communities.Download the guide here.

In the meantime, we are bringing Michael Thompson to Portland on May 2nd! 

Thompson has his own movie about bullying (here) but the emphasis of Best Friends / Worst Enemies is conflict that does not occur in a hostile or hateful way but that is part of normal relationships and development.  Thompson encourages us to give kids some space to recognize their own resilience, solve their own problems (with TLC at home but not hovering) and to allow relationships space to change and grow. 

 Kate and I are currently reading A Crooked Kind Of Perfect and I was reminded of Thompson's idea... the main character, Zoe, breaks up with her best friend.  Her parents are clueless about her social problems but her home is a loving one... over time she makes friends with unlikely characters and although we're only in the middle of the book I suspect it will be a good lesson about how it is ok to suffer bit through hard changes and come out the other side. 

I hope FSP parents will come hear Thompson on May 2nd and then have our own conversations, following up on the inclusion / exclusion discussion because it is in all our interests to reflect on our parenting, our teaching and our kids ability to engage and develop healthy relationships that will cary them into adulthood! 

from Lee & Low

Diversity 101: Five Things to Look for Before You Read
When it comes to diversity, all books are not created equal. Before you add a new book to your library, here are five things to look out  for:

1.General Accuracy: Books should contain current, correct information. How old are the photos and pictures? If the book is about a past event, does it include backmatter about how things ultimately played out?

2. Stereotypes: Beware of reinforcing stereotypes. Books should reflect individual people's lives, rather than assigning general personality traits or behaviors to an entire group.

3. Language: Be careful of books that separate characters into two groups: those who speak standard English and those who don't. This division can reinforce stereotypes that all people in a group speak in a particular way. No matter the dialect, language should sound natural and the intent should be clear.

4. Illustrations: Illustrations should convey the reality that members of any ethnic group look different from one another.

5. Author's Perspective: Does the author come from the culture that he or she is writing about? If not, what kind of research did he or she do to insure cultural authenticity?

Read the full article here.

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Lee & Low Books is an independent children's book publisher specializing diversity. It is our goal to meet the need for stories that all children can identify with and enjoy.

1 week until P4P

Preregister for Books as Bridges : Children's Literature and Anti-Racism Education now - seats are limited! 

And, as a teaser, check out the prejudice reduction program Roots of Empathy coming out of Canada.  This program brings babies into classrooms:

At the heart of the program are a neighbourhood infant and parent who visit the classroom every three weeks over the school year. A trained Roots of Empathy Instructor coaches students to observe the baby's development and to label the baby's feelings. In this experiential learning, the baby is the "Teacher" and a lever, which the instructor uses to help children identify and reflect on their own feelings and the feelings of others. This "emotional literacy" taught in the program lays the foundation for more safe and caring classrooms, where children are the "Changers". They are more competent in understanding their own feelings and the feelings of others (empathy) and are therefore less likely to physically, psychologically and emotionally hurt each other through bullying and other cruelties. In the Roots of Empathy program children learn how to challenge cruelty and injustice. Messages of social inclusion and activities that are consensus building contribute to a culture of caring that changes the tone of the classroom. The Instructor also visits before and after each family visit to prepare and reinforce teachings using a specialized lesson plan for each visit. Research results from national and international evaluations of Roots of Empathy indicate significant reductions in aggression and increases in pro-social behaviour.

Read more about the program and watch founder Mary Gordon's TedxTalk at Greater Good

Marjorie Burns Knight & Anne Sibley O'Brien's book Welcoming Babies is a great bridge book for kids, drawing on this innate response to babies (Tilbury House shares a teachers note).  Book sale / program attendees will have the opportunity to buy their own signed copy - an awesome baby gift and a book that even big kids love to read. 

Cool Sounding Book : The Third Teacher: 79 Ways You Can use Design to Transform Teaching and Learning

Taken from the Klingenstein Briefs

Spatial Intelligence
The Third Teacher: 79 Ways You Can use Design to Transform Teaching and Learning, by OWP/P Inc., VS Furniture, and Bruce Mau Design


Since the ‘40s when Malaguzzi named the environment as the Third teacher, third to adults and peers, there have been debates about which spaces, tools and furniture are most conducive to learning. Over decades, minimalists, OCD therapists, religious educators and luminaries such as Howard Gardner have had their say. In this visually vibrant volume, the educators and those who collaborated to assemble it display actual examples of their efforts and speak to their experiences with real children and real places. Color, sound, terrain, textures, external spaces and building interiors are considered as part of the learning team. From Sir Ken Robinson to Chef Ann Cooper, from Canada to Germany, from the Caymans to South Africa, eight chapters illustrate the concerns and actions of people dedicated to the examining the role of environment in the education of all children. This book is unorthodox in appearance, never dull, and full of creative and exciting ideas.

Margaret Bleyberg, Hillel Academy, Kingston, Jamaica

Workers & Online Shopping

My mom owned an independent shop when I was a teenager, and big box stores definitely hurt her business.  This was before online shopping really took off - I doubt she'd even have opened it in this marketplace.  But the store was more than a place to buy stuff - as proprietor of an educational toy store and teacher supply company in Auburn ME, she helped open our community up to thinking and talking about education and children's rights and needs in new ways.  So, I'm a supporter of BUY LOCAL and will get my new Shel Silverstein book at Longfellow as soon as they replenish their supply.  Nevertheless, I confess to using Amazon for deals, for more peripheral titles and sometimes just for convenience.

New revelations about worker abuse at warehouse facilities - and this follow up specifically about Amazon -  is a reminder that online retail keeps humans invisible from us - we don't see the people behind the scenes and they fall away in our consciousness. The Mother Jones article is disturbing but worth reading - perhaps even sharing with some older kids who might be interested in shopping online themselves.  American Rights At Work has launched an online petition - I suspect there will be interesting reading, activism and coalition work around this issue for a long time to come.

Pinwheels for Peace

Celebrate International Day of Peace today -  Learn more about Peace One Day and make a small donation to the organization via the 7th/8th grade collection jar (in lobby); Join with FSP, the Governor Baxter School and the Real School in a celebration of Pinwheels for Peace (or bring pinwheels for peace to your own location); make peace in your community - check out ideas from KindnessGirl (for small daily acts) or join with Peace Action Maine 

There are some great picture books that help children explore peacemaking - check out Jane Addams Book Award winners or Cynthia Leitch Smith's list of "War and Peace in Children's Literature"

Why Books as Bridges?

If you're wondering why FSP might be moved to offer a program such as Books as Bridges : Children's Literature and Anti-Racism Education, check out Anne Sibley O'Brien's blog and her latest thinking about how white children learn their racial identity and how it is connected to racism (unwittingly, perhaps, but at very young ages) and how adults might better intervene in that socialization.

Also - some new social justice & literature resources:

• The Pirate Tree : Social Justice and Children's Literature Blog
• Reading In Color (link is titled BlackTeensRead2)

And check the side bar for more!

Spunky Female/Gender NonConforming Animals in Picture Books

Via Sociological Images - one of my favorite sites :   The NYT recently reported on a study of children's books in Gender and Society (PDF available) that found:

Compared to females, males are represented nearly twice as often in titles and 1.6 times as often as central characters.  . . We argue that these disparities are evidence of symbolic annihilation and have implications for children’s understandings of gender. Nevertheless, important differences in the extent of the disparity are evident by type of character (i.e., child or adult, human or animal), book series, and time period. Specifically, representations of child central characters are the most equitable and animals the most inequitable. . . 

This got me thinking - what books include great female or gender nonconforming animals?  A few that immediately come to mind for me:

• Koala Lou by Mem Fox
• Louanne Pig in Nancy Carlson's books (esp. "I Like Me") 
• Yoko in Rosemary Wells' books
• Charlotte, although Wilbur might really be considered the main character? 

I'm struggling to think of books where the male character is shown to be more feminine - maybe the Son in The Kissing Hand?   [Here's a list by blogger AcceptingDad -- and a "GenderEqual" online bookstore].

What other books can you think of? 

Soar Elinor!

Here is a wonderful new picture book, by Tami Lewis Brown celebrating Elinor Smith who, in 1927, became the youngest American pilot. Read the Washington Post review here.

Book Talk Tuesdays & A Peaks Island Book Event!

On Tuesday, October 5th at lunch time I (Anna) will be hosting the first in a series of weekly "Book Talk Tuesdays" in my classroom for students in grades 5-8. The sessions will be informal. My thought is that folks can bring the books they are reading and give the group a quick review. If others in the group have had experience with the book, they are welcome to chime in as well. I'm hoping this will provide students with a place to chat about books they love and hate, get new book suggestions, and find out about book events and books that are just being published.

Speaking of book events...

The new poetry book NEST, NOOK, & CRANNY for children and adults illustrated by Peaks Island artist, Jamie Hogan will be celebrated with a series of nature walks on Peaks Island on Saturday October 16th from 10:00 AM ­ 3:00 PM.

The walks, led by the Peaks Island Land Preserve, will feature poems from the book dotted throughout the woods and along the shoreline. The walks will step off from the Gem Gallery at 10:30 AM and 1:00 PM.

Illustrator Jamie Hogan will be signing books at the Gem where the original illustrations from the book will be on exhibit and prints will be for sale. A portion of sales will benefit the Peaks Island Land Preserve.

NEST, NOOK, & CRANNY

Saturday, October 16th, 2010

10:00 AM ­ 3:00 PM

(Nature Walks at 10:30 AM and 1:00 PM)

Gem Gallery

62 Island Ave, Peaks Island, ME

(2 minute walk from the Ferry Terminal)

Info: Curious City, 207-699-2755

All Ages

More for the 5/6 Social Studies Project

I'm not usually a big reader of historical fiction, but my bookclub chose The Physik Book of Deliverance Dame (about Salem and witches and mothers and daughters) and it was perfect for me, as the prelude to the 5/6 social studies project.  I find questions about memory, about storytelling, and about the historical canon fascinating.  I think Grace does too, but of course her sense of "history" is just emerging, which is fascinating in and of itself.

November 27th has been deemed the National Day of Listening by StoryCorp and NPR - an opportunity to record some of the unique stories that emerge from the 5/6 social studies project... and if all this piques curiosity enough, PBS has an interesting site about American Families including an online family tree that allows relatives to all contribute to a shared site. 

I just read a review of Patricia Reilly Giff's new book The Storyteller, and immediately interlibrary loaned it for Grace.  It seems right up the ally of the 5/6 social studies project and I know she has enjoyed other books by Giff.  Here is a review from the 4th Musketeer blog (which has other reviews of historical literature for kids, as well), and from RandomHouse's web page: 

View the Teachers Guide! Buy this book online.

Storyteller Juvenile Fiction - Social Situations - Friendship Wendy Lamb Books | Hardcover | September 2010 | $ 15.99 | 978-0-375-83888-0 (0-375-83888-0) About the Book A story of the American Revolution from two-time Newbery Honor–winning author Patricia Reilly Giff. While staying with her aunt, Elizabeth finds something remarkable: a drawing. It hangs on the wall, a portrait of her ancestor, Eliza, known as Zee. She looks like Elizabeth. The girls’ lives intertwine as Elizabeth’s present-day story alternates with Zee’s, which takes place during the American Revolution. Zee is dreamy, and hopeful for the future—until the Revolution tears apart her family and her community in upstate New York. Left on her own, she struggles to survive and to follow her father and brother into battle. Zee’s story has been waiting to be rediscovered by the right person. As Elizabeth learns about Zee, and walks where Zee once walked and battles raged, the past becomes as vivid and real as the present. In this beautifully crafted, affecting novel from beloved author Patricia Reilly Giff, the lives of two girls reflect one another as each finds her own inner strengths.  What books get you thinking about the connection between family and history?

Book News

As some of you know, in addition to my work at FSP as teacher and marketing coordinator, I'm also a writer and illustrator and an MFA candidate in Writing for Children and Young Adults at Vermont College of Fine Arts. My work and learning require me to be involved in the children's book industry and the kidlitosphere online. Therefore, when Kim sent me an invitation to post on the Friends School Blog I thought that I could write an occasional post about books for kids and how you can find great books for your children. For this blog, I'll be giving you some links to other bloggers and online resources for books that are new and newsworthy. Curious City Books: Close to home, in Portland Kirsten Cappy helps market great authors and illustrators around New England and around the country. See what events she's planning... Not Your Mothers Bookclub: If you have a teen and you don't know your Mocking bird from your Mockingjay you need to visit this site. Young Adult Books Central: View book trailers, book reviews, and book giveaways. Click on the "Children's Book Reviews" for info on more middle grade appropriate books. Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast: Do you have a kiddo who can't go to bed without a picture book? These bloggers introduce you to great PB's with a special emphasis on illustration. Here's a specific link to a day where they featured Mainer Melissa Sweet. The CYBILS: The CYBILS are an award given out by bloggers in the kidlitosphere. The nomination process is open to all and the judges are authors, illustrators, industry members, and friends. The nomination lists are a great place to look for good books, and the winners aren't to shabby either. Mitali Perkins' Blog: Mitali provides "a safe place to chat about books between cultures." Uma Krishnaswami: Uma is an amazing writer and a student of the picture book and all it has to teach us. She is thoughtful and brilliant. Read Roger: Roger Sutton is the long time editor of the Horn Book. He is opinionated but his opinion are based on a lifetime of love for children's literature. You can also choose to receive the Horn Book Newsletter which is a GREAT resource. Publishers Weekly "Children's": If you want to know the books featured in the upcoming publishing catalogs you should subscribe to the PW's Children's RSS. Okay. That's it for now. Comment if you have another great place to find info about kids and books! Comment if you followed any of these links! Share the post on facebook if you like what you see!

Reading suggestions for voracious young readers

OK, so here it is. Proceed at your own risk (meaning, check out titles for age-appropriateness for your child). I'm sure we've forgotten things, and I didn't go back as far as toddler/preschool just because that was a long time ago and I didn't feel we'd do it justice (you'll feel this way some day too). Maybe someone can take a stab at getting that started. Please feel free to add to this list via the comments section.

-Kids Discover magazine covers a different topic each month, with no ads! It’s fabulous and gets read cover-to-cover every month as soon as it arrives. You can order back issues on topics that interest your children (or you).

-On CD for the car, there is a wonderful series with titles like Beethoven Lives Upstairs, Mr. Bach Comes to Call, and Vivaldi’s Ring of Fire. They bring composers and their music to kids in a series of fun stories.

The Moffats series by Eleanor Estes, also Ginger Pye by the same author

Edward Eager: Half-Magic series

The Gardener by Sarah Stewart

Mr. Popper’s Penguins

EB White: Stuart Little, Charlotte’s Web, Trumpet of the Swan, etc. (grown-ups should read One Man’s Meat)

Anything Jan Brett, but most especially her rendering of The Owl and the Pussycat.

Mrs. Coverlet series

Henry Reed series by Keith Robertson!!!

Henry Huggins, Ramona the Pest, and that whole series by Beverly Cleary

Also by Beverly Cleary: The Mouse and the Motorcycle series

Poetry by Shel Silverstein

Anything Robert McCloskey, especially Burt Dow, Homer Price, and Time of Wonder (look for The Robert McCloskey Video Library, too)

Anything Ludwig Bemelmans (Madeline for kids, but did you know he wrote some great adult books too? Try Hotel Splendide or Bonne Table to start)

Brave Irene by William Steig still chokes me up it’s so wonderful

Miss Rumphius and Island Boy by Barbara Cooney

Dahlov Ipcar: Lobsterman and Hardscrabble Harvest

Ben and Me: An astonishing life of Benjamin Franklin

Emil and the Detectives by Erich Kästner

The Indian in the Cupboard series

The Phantom Tollbooth!!!

Anything Roald Dahl - On tape don’t get any read by the author because he’s a terribly monotonous reader.

The Great Quillow by James Thurber

All the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. There is so much to learn from them, and the kids have been fascinated since about age 7.

The Swallows & Amazons series by Arthur Ransome, good for read-alouds beginning age 4 depending on your kids. The books are definitely 1930s British so you’ll have to take on a bit of girls’ roles vs. boys’ and some references to alcohol, smoking, and racism as if acceptable, but all in all a great, harmless adventure series (13 350-page books!) that will keep you occupied for a year of read-alouds, a chapter or two a night. You need to read these before your kids are old enough to be bothered that one of the characters’ names is Titty (she’s based on a real person named Letitia or something).

Also by Ransome: Old Peter’s Russian Tales

My Side of the Mountain and its sequels

Dragonrider and The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke. Your kids will want to go on to anything else by her, but a warning that the Inkheart series, while fascinating, is dark and violent. Some kids are okay with that, others not, but definitely wait until they’re older and rediscover it on their own.

The Old Man Mad About Drawing

Three Samurai Cats

The Big Wave by Pearl S. Buck

The Great Brain series

Pippi Longstocking series by Astrid Lindgren

The Incredible Journey - the book is way better than the movies

D’Aulaire’s Book of Greek Myths

The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain

The Pushcart Wars by Jean Merrill - a neat (and hilarious) tale about how life's little injustices can turn big, how citizen unrest can lead to all-out revolution, and how cohesive action, non-violent protest, and negotiation can lead to a better kind of peace.

Misty of Chincoteague series by Marguerite Henry (if your kid is horsey, anything Marguerite Henry will do)

Frances Hodgson Burnett classics: A Little Princess, The Secret Garden, etc.

The Penderwicks

Love, Ruby Lavender

Each Little Bird that Sings

Any Eyewitness book (non-fiction, on various subjects)

David Macauley: The Way Things Work, Castle, Underground, Unbuilding, etc.

For older kids, 4^th grade and up, in no particular order (pace yourselves, and read reviews):

The Chronicles of Prydain, by Lloyd Alexander. These should be heard on tape first because the unwieldy Welsh-styled names will turn you off to reading them.

Also by Lloyd Alexander, The Arcadians

The Westing Game

Harriet the Spy

A Single Shard, by Linda Sue Park

Tuck Everlasting

Johnny Tremain

Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse, experiences from the Dust Bowl written in verse

A Wrinkle in Time and Many Waters by Madeleine l’Engle - beautifully read on tape/CD by the author

Five Children and It and The Railway Children by E. Nesbit

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH and sequels

From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler and The View from Saturday by EL Konigsburg

Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster Boy

The Alchemyst trilogy by Michael Scott

City of Ember series

Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams

Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan

A Cricket in Times Square

The People of Pineapple Place

Call it Courage by Armstrong Sperry

The Invention of Hugo Cabret

Lost on a Mountain in Maine (4^th grade is good for this) by Donn Fendler

Stowaway by Karen Hesse - do as a read-aloud for as young as 3^rd grade, with parental guidance on the alcohol and abuse aboard 18^th century British ships - a young boy stows away on a ship that turns out to be the Endeavour, with Captain Cook heading out on his first Pacific journey

Robinson Crusoe

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

Chasing Vermeer, The Wright Three, and The Calder Game by Blue Balliet (mystery/adventure involving pieces of art and the lives of artists)

Newfound Land by Allan Wolf: a chronicle of Lewis and Clark’s expedition from the points of view of various participants, including Sacajawea and the Newfoundland dog

Holes by Louis Sachar

The Black Book of Secrets - very Dickensian, but more accessible to younger readers than Dickens himself

Speaking of Dickens: David Copperfield (the made-for-TV movie stars a very young Daniel Radcliffe in the title role)

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis - there is a lot of Christian allegory which you can address or ignore

Comic series for older kids: Asterix and Obelix, Calvin & Hobbes, TinTin- warnings about drunkenness and brawling

Anne of Green Gables series by LM Montgomery

Greene Knowe series (best on tape)

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain

The Sword in the Stone and The Once and Future King by TH White

Hoot, Flush, and Scat by Carl Hiaasen

The Mysterious Benedict Society series

Kon Tiki by Thor Heyerdahl

Jules Verne: Journey to the Center of the Earth, 20,000 Leagues under the Sea, Around the World in 80 Days, etc.

JRR Tolkein if you’re into it, you either love it or you hate it

Bert and I and Other Stories

Horatio Hornblower series by CS Forrester for advanced readers 5^th grade and up who are into adventure on the high seas. They’ll probably stop after the first one, but they’ll have enjoyed it thoroughly and will pick it up again when they’re older. Tris read it and says, “It was really good. They swear a LOT.”

Biographies of explorers, adventurers, activists, scientists, and inventors, for example Alexander Graham Bell, Shackleton, Nansen, Joan of Arc, Edison, Amundsen, Amelia Earhart, suffragettes, Gandhi, Darwin, Cook, etc.

Mad Science: Experiments you can try at home, but probably shouldn’t, by Theo Gray, Popular Science columnist

Must-Reads for Voracious Young Readers

Hi everyone. I'm hoping for your input. Together with my kids, I've pulled together a list of books we've thoroughly enjoyed over the elementary and middle school years. I'm wondering how best to present this list to you parents for you to use as a resource and add to. It's too long to take up space on the blog. What do you think? Please, please use the comments section to respond to our posts! We're getting pretty lonely out here in the blogosphere.

For those of you who just don't know what will happen to you if you push that comments button, here's a rundown: There will be a little box for you to type in your comments. When you're done, click on Publish Comment. You will be asked how you want to comment. You can either enter your gmail login or click on Anonymous. You may then be asked to retype a warped set of numbers and/or letters. I really don't know what purpose that serves, but if you just do it, your comment will appear on the blog. We will not have any of your personal information, your personal information will not appear in any form, just your comment. Really. Even I do it and everyone knows I'm a big technochicken. Be brave! We want to hear from you.

Favorite Books

Lea suggested a blog-book group discussion -- (although I'd also LOVE an in-person book group too)... Use the comments to share recommendations and insights from your favorite books!